Advice on discussing sex with your child

Advice on discussing sex with your child

The time will always come when your child will start asking questions about sex and naturally begin to become aware of the differences between the sexes, he will realize that he has a penis a therefor is male and so dad is a man too, but mom is not. At this age boys are not shy and asking about sex is normal because they want to know know more about sex and where they came from. Normally if a new baby is expected at home these questions become more pressing. When you decide to discuss this subject with your son, take a deep breath and try to act as normal as possible. If you get nervous your child will think there is something wrong about discussing certain subjects. Quiet moments are best for these discussions; for example when you are in the car because you don't have to make eye contact and this can make the conversation less stressful. Speak with your partner about the information to be provided when these questions begin. It is extremely important that you control your nerves when discussing complicated subjects. Some parents opt for giving long explanations of the process but it is recommended that simple short answers be given. Of course all this depends on the child's age. If you tell your three-year-old child who wants to know where he came from that “you grew in my belly until you were ready to be born” that will probably satisfy his curiosity. But if your child is four, this answer will leave him with many more questions, so it is advisable to answer his questions by giving him less information, just enough to make sense to him. You have to be self-confident, so no matter what the question you should never go on the defensive and ask “who told you that” because your child will learn that it is bad to ask questions on the subject. Encourage him to ask more questions when he has doubts, using such phrases as “good question” or “when you have more questions let me know”. If your child asks you a question about his privates in a public place, tell him quietly that this is a subject better discussed at home because it is personal. Remember, no matter how embarrassing the situation, don't discourage him because at this age you need to create a feeling of trust that will last well past childhood and adolescence. You don't need to wait for your child to ask questions to gradually explain to him the subject of sexuality. If you have a dog at home that is about to have puppies you can touch on the subject while the puppies are suckling. In time your child needs to learn the meaning of privacy so you need to teach him the basics: 1 When your child sees your bedroom door closed he needs to understand that he must knock before entering, but you have to be the first to set an example so you too must knock too before entering. 2 He must learn that his private parts are private and that nobody other than dad, mom and the doctor should ever touch them, and then only to help him after going to the bathroom or on a visit to the doctor.



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